Sitting here at my desk, I thought about this question, what does love have to do with it? Hmmm… I thought to myself: Nothing and everything. What does love have to do with it when it pertains to your health in your relationship?
As I sat in my quietness, it was revealed to me that an unhealthy relationship can cause physical, mental and emotional distress on the couple. It can also cause stress on the people around them. This stress can cause you to dislike yourself and your partner. The people around you may even avoid you because your energy is toxic.
I am a first-hand witness of this toxic energy and load on one’s body, mind, and soul. I’m in a toxic relationship that is causing me to have High Blood Pressure and Emotional Stress. This is something that can be solved because I’m typically a healthy person (healthy diet, clean eating lifestyle, exercise and I drink moderately -smile). So I asked myself, how did I get High Blood Pressure and why do I have anxiety from time to time?
I decided to take a break from my relationship and allow my spouse to take the girls on a ski trip to examine my state of mind, stress level, and toxic load. Surprisingly, after my request to limit communication with my spouse, I realized that my stress level was going down and my anxiety diminish. Normally the kids do not raise my stress level because my job is to be a SAHM. The kids are pretty easy because they are in school, and involved with numerous activities. Therefore, I had to pinpoint my stress level as it related to my relationship.
I thought to myself, like many of us do when in an unhealthy situation.
Why do I feel this way? How can I release this feeling?
So, I decided to do a 7-day detox with observing my mind and body.
Here is what I gathered in my experiment.
I get stressed when:
- Communication is lacking or not clarified.
- Talking about the same thing over and over again with no resolution.
- Boundaries are crossed or not established.
- Text are frequent and unnecessary (no downtime).
- I am criticized.
- I feel unheard.
- I’m not exercising or have no physical activity.
- Feeling chased or watched.
- When there is a lack of trust/jealousy.
- I’m in an unspoken competition.
- Feeling trapped or overwhelmed with the meaningless task.
- Not given a schedule or the schedule is loose.
I looked back in time/history at my body language when any of these above buttons were pushed and I noticed that my stomach hurt, my throat closes or I get an immediate headache. WOW. That’s when my blood pressure rises!
Hmm… So then I asked myself how do I release these toxins from my system and my environment. COMMUNICATE!
Now I have decided by reading my body language that I could control or communicate these feeling out loud. By saying…
I don’t feel comfortable when ….this happens.
If my partner sees that I’m communicating my feelings and still continues to challenge my stress then I have a clear choice to stay or leave because my health is more important.
What is does love have to do with it when someone doesn’t acknowledge your buttons? EVERYTHING… Love is forgiving, trusting, nonjealous, thoughtful, kind, giving and respectful.
I believe that sometimes we don’t consider our health and stress when it pertains to our relationship. We live a lie and cover up our true emotions to protect another. Many people stay in relationships and are getting sick day by day because their buttons are constantly being pushed.
Why stay? Isn’t your health more important? Would you rather be sick in a relationship than healthy by yourself? What are the sacrifices you are making in staying or leaving?
What does love have to do with it? – Everything when it pertains to your health.
P.S. If you love me you would protect me and keep me safe. Oh, if you have communicated with your partner, it’s important to allow your partner to change and gain consistency. Counseling helps as well. We will be seeing one next week (smile).