The other day a young girl told me that she doesn’t want to finish college because her dream is to be a Stay At Home Mom. She said to me, “I want to be a SAHM like you and marry a rich guy!” I looked at her with sad eyes and I was completely confused. I thought to myself: Why would you want to be a SAHM? Why do you think this role is so glamorous? I was so baffled with her love affair of the role of being a SAHM, that I completely became frustrated in this position. I was upset that this young woman would look at me as an achievement vs going to college to gain an education for her future.
I thought to myself:
- Why would a young girl aspire to be a SAHM?
- Did she not know that this is a job for those who want to better the lives for their kids rather than live off the money of their spouse?
- Does she not know that the most successful SAHMs are the educated, devoted, disciplined and their home is their office.
- Does she not know that if her husband chooses to leave her that having her education was important to build her individual self as a career woman?
- Does she not know that her children will grow up and not need her?
- Does she not know that her life will be based solely on her husband and her kids?
- Does she not know that this is not a glamorous life choice, this is hard work if you do it the right way?
- I was so upset about her life goal but I couldn’t say anything because she was looking up to me as a future endeavor. However, I thought to myself, I don’t want my daughters to immediately choose this role without finishing their education. I want my daughters to know what it is to be able to make a conscious choice to OPT out of being a career woman.
Well, after I mourned this girl’s immediate decision, I got upset and wanted to QUIT MY JOB! I was done with this job! Done with being label as a SAHM! Done with not having a “Pot of Gold” at the end of my rainbow. I was done!
I started questioning my role as a mom who decided to OPT-OUT of having a career. I’m in my 10th year of this role and I wanted to quit. QUIT ASAP.
But, how can I quit?
I can’t walk out on my kids or my role as a volunteer at the school. I can’t stop being a designated driver for my kids and being a support for my husband. So how can I quit?
Well, my good friends told me to stop bitching and just get a JOB! Be a working mom rather than a SAHM and you will not be bored. You will be enriched and you will gain your “she-power” back.
A friend of mine told me that her husband told her if she wanted to stay home then she was giving him too much control over her world.
WOW… Control… Is this the reason that I want to QUIT?
Was I under control and feeling like I couldn’t breathe?
Have you ever felt this way?
- No individual earnings
- No accolades
- Feeling captured by a label
- Sometimes not feeling accomplished
- Feeling trapped
I received the best compliment from a stranger about my 10-year-old daughter with a disability. She told me that my daughter was the key reason why her daughter who is a preschooler, come to school each day without fear. My daughter is her daughter’s protector and cheerleader. I thought to myself WOW… What a great job I’ve done with my daughter.
I noticed that I still had the burning urge to get a job outside of the home! I’m ready to have new conversations, a new purpose and I can still do the things that I do for my kids but in a different way.
So, I’m not quitting my job. I’m changing my position within the company which is in my home. I’m ready to get a raise. I’m ready to expand my business and I’m ready to move forward before I get too old! Is this wrong of me? NO.. I’m just opting to go back to work in 2017! The foundation of my kids are built and I’m super happy.
- They can read, write, and calculate.
- They are self-confident, assured, outspoken, social and graciously kind.
I’m not going anywhere. I just want to be a little selfish, build my business, or just get a job in training and development. Oh, publish this book! (lol)
Love you for reading, sharing, and commenting.