The Fake Relationship Defined and Revealed
How do you know if you’re in a Fake Relationship? Sometimes you’re unaware until you decide to become naked about your truth and many are afraid of the scary truth. So yesterday I decided to reveal myself in my article and today I’m going to unravel the Definition of the Fake Relationship.
I had a conversation this week with a lady regarding her relationship. She said she dated a guy for 7 years, they were great friends but they had no romance. She stated that she was tired of being fake. She knew that it wouldn’t last, she knew that it was temporary in her heart. She loved the lifestyle of being in a relationship being able to have a permanent date at all times. However, this good looking couple that many constantly ask “When are you guys going to get married?” They knew that it was all a show. It was a Fake Relationship. They were going to counseling because they were already having problems in the relationship regarding intimacy. The relationship became stale even before marriage. It was in a constant “Netflix and Chill” Mode. So one day after several years of dating and so many people asking about their marriage, she said, “I done being fake.” This made me think are there many “Fake Relationships” out here. Oops… Yes… I had one.. so hence my first article.
I also, thought there are many people that share this similar story of lack of satisfaction. Many run from the alter, others fall in love and then the love fizz out. They might know that the relationship was not perfect but they were on a mission to be perfect.
Think about Princess Diana and Prince Charles. This was one of the most famous Fake Relationships in history. Prince Charles was in love with someone else but he had a duty to marry Princess Diana. Look how that whole situation ended up. That story had depression, sadness, unfaithful behavior, and a clear lack of trust. WOW… I must say, my stuff was not that bad. (smile)
What is a Fake Relationship?
A Fake Relationship is one that you decide on being in despite your lack of passion for the other and/or one another. You play a role that you create or that is created for you. When the doors close one person sleeps on the couch, or in another room, or they are just separated in their own home. No one would know this expect the partner. In my opinion, you’re actually unsatisfied and intimacy is the thing of the past. Placing good face is something you do.
- You feel responsible for that person
- You feel stuck
- You feel sick
- You argue, nag, fuss, debate
- Your bitter
- You never forget
- You hold grudges
- You feel a lack love
- You’re not yourself or silence yourself
- You feel unheard or taken advantage of
- You tell everyone you hate your partner but you’re still in the relationship
- You tell everyone that things are great
- You tell yourself things will get better
- You make excuses for your partner but you keep a smile on your face
- You stay because of kids, family, friends, finance, job security, religious values, love of the relationship not your partner.
The list goes on!
Bottomline you’re in it for the wrong reasons….
- Church / Religious Values
- Financial Gain
- Job security
- Life Style
You became Retired in your relationship! And You’re under the age of 60! Many are in their 30’s and 40’s. That’s just too young for BullShit.
Retired you may ask…
- You settled, You paused, You gave up!
- You say to yourself Why rock the boat?
- You accept the fact that your body can’t do.
- You accept you can’t have intimacy and won’t.
- You know him/her and he/she know you.
- You tell yourself that it would be difficult to find someone else.
- You decided that this is it.
- You lost yourself.
- You give up your hopes of making the relationship better.
- You’re complacent.
- You don’t want to have the hard discussion of your lack of satisfaction but you need to.
- You travel, You chill, You relax, You don’t talk, You’re friends and/ or You’re lonely
Well…. If you’re younger than 60 this is a PROBLEM…. WAKE THE FUCK UP! This is a problem.
The problem doesn’t go away… it only gets worst.
- You are lying to yourself and you are lying to your partner
- Anger, Hatred, Cheating, Disrespect, Depression, Stress and/or Anxiety
- You gain weight by stuffing food in your mouth because you feel ugly or unwanted
- You’ve workout to feel wanted and loved by someone else.
- You get cosmetic surgery because you want to change something and can’t change your relationship so you change yourself.
What do you do?
Well.. Speak UP! Your Relationship is Messed Up… So what can you loose… Maybe a lot but what can you gain maybe everything.
- Talk to yourself first… Admit your truth.
- Identify your issue or concerns.
- Have a mature discussion with your partner (this is not easy).
- Allow your partner to reflect and understand your concern (they may be angry, sad or very emotional).
- Don’t step out looking for something that you’re missing in your relationship because this never ends well… If you’re missing it maybe you need to talk about it.
- Seek professional help (counselor, or spiritual advisor).
- Talk about having a Healing Separation.
What is a Healing Separation?
A separation for you to gain time to find clarity in your relationship. This is not a Divorce. This is time for you and your partner to have a family break. Time for both of you to reevaluate your roles in your relationship and your love. This time of self-development will allow each person to step back and reflect on why they’re in the relationship.
Some reflections you may see that this relationship may not be for you then both of you can come to a mature decision on what you guys want to do without anger. So you may not succeed but at least you have a made a joint decision.
If your reflection allows growth and rekindling of the relationship then you will have a rebirth of your love. Your relationship would be better because it is in truth and awareness of your path.
If you love me, you will let me go. If I love you, I will come back. (Visa – Versa)
P.S. Many men and women are unhappy in their relationship but they choose to be silent because they feel like nothing will change. Just wait something always changes whether you like it or not. It takes two to tangle and think about it, he/she also feel the lost of the relationship. They’re just holding on because of comfort or a fear of loss. But you know what you want and need so say it. Because if you don’t you will be angry, depressed, or self-destructive. You’re too young to be RETIRED ALREADY! Trust me, when you shake things up people for some reason get it together by revamping or just leave. Your life may be sad for a moment but you regain your mojo back. Peace is better than stress!
We’re both feeling better and looking better because we SPOKE UP! We’re getting our voice back! Power! Love! Joy! Self Respect! Self Love!