Have you ever been in a relationship where you have quieted your voice?
Are you in a relationship where you’re not showing up the way you want to?
Well, welcome to The Relationship Glass Ceiling!
What is The Relationship Glass Ceiling? It is the term, that I’m using to describe the unseen, unbreakable, barrier that keeps you from rising to the upper ranks of your relationship. The unseen barrier that prevents you to be in a team environment with your partner. Why this is unseen, because it’s how you feel, your emotions, your indecisiveness, your quietness, your compromising attitude and not having a voice in your relationship. You’re treated unfairly, you feel like you’re a second class citizen in your relationship with your partner. You are seen but not heard.
Regardless of your qualifications and achievements in your relationship, your partner takes you for granted and you’re seen to be less than.
Examples of this in your relationship:
- You shut down when your partner is talking at you or you tune out when in a disagreeable discussion.
- You don’t voice your opinion when you know you have one, because it seems pointless.
- You’re disappointed when you’re not acknowledged. Actually, you’re only acknowledge sometimes but more often not.
- Your partner never tells you that you are successful or they never voice their gratitude for contribution to the relationship.
- Compliments are far and in between. Do you like me? Do you Love me? Do you even think about me? How do I know? Let me count the ways! Well, I can’t!
- There is no prestige, no awards, no mention of achievement in the relationship.
You can see the relationship is great but there is a glass ceiling blocking the success of the relationship because your partner is not willing or unknowingly not willing to break the glass.
The effect of the relationship glass ceiling, may make people you feel like you are not worthy to be an equal in the relationship. You feel like your partner does not take you seriously or you feel that there is no advancement in the relationship like commitment or marriage. There is no vision of the relationship because you don’t feel fully accepted as an equal partner. If you are already in a committed relationship, you feel like your opinions and voice are not taken seriously so, you’re a passenger in your relationship at all time while your partner is continuously driving and you have no understanding of where you are going.
How do you break this relationship glass ceiling?
The key word is EMPOWERMENT!
Ask yourself these questions:
- Who am I in my relationship?
- What is my role?
- How can I let my voice be heard with our jeopardizing the relationship?
- What details of myself is not being presented or am I holding back in the relationship because there is no use for me talking?
- How do I want to show up?
- What is my voice and how can express it?
- What changes can I make to be heard and seen in my relationship?
- Do I actually want to be heard and seen?
- How much is this costing me/us to be silent in the relationship? (happiness, growth, and sustainability of the relationship)
- Am I happy?
- What is preventing me from making a change or asking for a change in communication?
- What is my vision of the relationship?
- What does he/she want?
- What are our love language and how do we express them?
Examples of The Relationship Glass Ceiling:
- Your partner ask you what do you want to do today and you answer oh, what do you want to do? Your partner then tells you to take a run on Stone Mountain. You then think to yourself, my back is hurting and I had a tired week but, since he or she wants to run, I will go. Then you go for the run, you are exhausted tired, frustrated and then you start to argue with your partner because you really didn’t want to go in the first place. So to avoid this next time you tell your partner what you would like to do or you express your concerns and come to a mutual agreement about your plans for the day. This will allow you to be an equal contributor to the relationship.
You guys are about to order food and wine in a restaurant then your partner says; I’m in the mood for red wine!What do you do? Do you order red wine as well? Or do you order a margarita because that’s what you really want? Are you following the road that your partner laid out or are you having a conversation and laying the plan out together?
You have the urge of doing something for yourself without your partner (shopping, golf, visiting a friend etc) but you think about your partner’s week and on how they had a busy week you then make an assumption that he/she wants you to be with them out of niceness so, you never bring up what you want to do. Hmmm…. Is this making you happy or sad? How do you feel when you have made an assumption but never had a discussion? Are you truly living the life you want to live or sitting in the back seat and allowing someone else to always drive?
These are some things to think about! This is truly for those who are unhappy, unrecognized, under appreciated in their relationship and taking a back seat.
The best results is changing your habitual self first then, you can ask someone to change with you!
Plus, Start becoming aware on what is happening around you and in your relationship! Are you quieting yourself? Why?
The only way to be a team is to empower yourself to be a team by sharing collaborating and expressing one’s opinion and self. We can only be whole by expressing ourself in our relationships. Why are we holding back and placing ourselves under the Relationship Glass Ceiling. We need to break the glass and be apart of the relationship rather than a back seat driver.
Plus, why are we so afraid of confrontation? Why do we use to make the term confrontation negative? Isn’t it just voicing your opinion?
We will discuss this next week!
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