Last week we spoke about PreNups and Financial Contracts on the Timna UnCut Show. It was a heated discussion between myself and my cohost Mo!
In our on air discussion, we talked about, talking to your partner about PreNups and Financial Contracts prior to being in a longterm committed relationship.
LET’S TALK 4 REAL…
So….. A Financial Agreements prior to being involved in a serious relationship is a topic that many of us should visit, especially if we are “Mature in Age” and are WELL Established in our careers and life situation.
What is a Financial Agreement? or As some may call it a PreNup.
A Prenup is a written contract produced by two individuals before they’re hitch in marriage. A prenup can vary from person to person and it typically list all of the property each person owns. Plus, don’t forget, any debts that they may have. This written contract helps to identify what each person’s property rights will be after the marriage has dissolved. For today’s purpose I am going to choose to write about Financial Agreements- Cohabiting Agreement, Pre-Martial Agreement, Divorce Agreement, Separation Agreement, etc. However, the same definition as PreNups Apply! (smile)
A Financial Agreement or Contract is a big deal for those:
- Who have been burned before.
- Who are on their 2nd, 3rd or 4th marriage.
- Who have been singled for long time and have developed and established their wealth and the other person that they choose to partner with is less fortunate.
- Who are widowed and has inherited a large sum of money and have children…
- The list can go on and on! If you have and the other person does not! (good credit vs bad credit)
QUESTIONS…. (we went into depth on the Timna UnCut so tune in)
Why would someone want this kind of contract?
Well for starters it is protecting you from a serious financial situation if you two were to ever part.
Is this saying that I don’t trust my Man/Girl?
No…. It is saying that you guys are honest and upfront about your fears if you were to ever break-up.
How do I go about talking to my lover about a Financial Agreement?
Be Honest, Open during the dating process… Understand your commitment to this person and what may happen if the relationship ends. Be Honest, If …. You have been burned before! You are older and have children and need to provide for them. You are afraid of being mistreated or used because of your financial situation.
Remember: This conversation can be a HUGE deal so be prepared and ready!
I am scared that my partner will not want to be with me after the discussion.
Well, if they don’t understand your situation then think about what would happen if you broke up and now in a financial bind with that person! Hmmm…
Stories of the “Broken” after a Painful Divorce or a Cohabiting Break Up
Mary was on Marriage #2 with her former Mr. (Affair Partner, Jeff), Mary a Podiatrists who was making 200K annually and Jeff a school counselor making 50K annually fell in love during her rough time with her 1st husband.
Mary fell head over heals with her patient Jeff. They had an affair. When Mary finally divorced her husband she quickly married Jeff. Jeff was the sweetest guy for the first couple of years. He was great arm candy but, after time passed the relationship became rocky. Mary was tired of Jeff, who became fat, lazy and he started living off of Mary’s hard earned money. They continued the relationship for 7 years until Mary was done! She was tired of the arguments and fighting, it wore her out mentally and physically. She knew that this fairytale relationship was now ending.
Nevertheless, Jeff was upset and asked Mary to pay his car note, pay him half of the equity in the house, by the way, she bought this house for her kids with the money she received in the settlement of her 1st divorce. Oh, it doesn’t end Jeff, also asked for alimony so that he could continue living his current lifestyle.
Mary is upset and annoyed because, she didn’t have a Financial Agreement. Without this agreement she is obligated to pay him. However, I think she is going to get herself a GOOD Lawyer to fight this case!
This is a true story!
Wouldn’t you want a Financial Agreement in this situation!?
Jack and James moved into together is a swank NYC pad because they wanted to save on the monthly rent! In addition, they had a blooming love affair… So they said… Why NOT?
Well…. Jack had bad credit, and James had awesome credit. They didn’t have a conversation on financial habits prior to taking the next step in their relationship. Therefore, James of course in love, signed the lease agreement in his name and Jack was happy because his credit sucked. Now they lived together and purchased items together. Actually Jack bought most of the stuff.
Jack who had bad credit was making more money than Jack so, he bought everything and paid the rent each month. A couple of years passed by and now James found a new, sugar daddy and wanted Jack to move out. James refused to give Jack the furniture and he didn’t want to refund Jack the 2 months deposit on the apartment.
Now Jack got Burnt….
What do you think Jack should do next time?
The point, I am trying to make is if you have something to loose or gain in a relationship, be honest with yourself and your partner, this honesty would benefit you in the long run. Plus, remember, you can plan this Financial Agreement together so, that the relationship is clear and truthful. You can always revise it in the future. Nothing is set in stone.
It’s just a safety precaution!.
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