Time and time again, the story is told, a couple meets, fall in love and get married. A short time passes by then everyone hears that the couple is divorced. It’s has been less than 2 years. People thought the couple were in love, they wondered what happened?
Was it lust or was it love?
Looking at the definition of the word lust by http://www.dictionary.com we can see that word can blind us in our quest for a true – loving relationship.
- Intense sexual wish or appetite.
- A passionate or overmastering desire or craving of.
- A lust for power.
- Ardent enthusiasm.
- Obsolete. pleasure or delight.
Prior truly committing yourself with another and gaining a successful long-term relationship,
it is important to understand if are you in love or just have lustful blindness for your partner.
Signs of Lust in the Relationship:
1. Our sexual attraction is like “bling” to the relationship:
- Our sexual vibe is on fire!
- We are constantly flirting.
- We think about and have sex all the time.
- We forget ourselves and self-worth in thoughts of that person’s beauty “How lucky, I am to have this beautiful, sexy person in my life?”
- Sex our number form of communicate in the relationship.
- We rarely have a deep conversation.
My Thoughts: Sex and more sex can be exciting, invigorating, thrilling and just down right lustful! It is an awesome experience to have in your relationship, but if it is the most important thing, then it will fade out fast. The true person will appear sooner than later. Enjoy the sex, but think about the future without it (children, weight gain, illness, job loss etc.) and what do you see? hmmm…
2. No sex before marriage!
- The thought of having sex with this person is amazing.
- The innocence is what is intriguing.
- My partner wants me so bad that they are willing to wait.
- Our make-out sessions are so heated, I can’t wait to get married.
- I tell lies so my partner can want me more. “I want to get in those panties!” “Oh, a virgin!”
My Advice: Well…. If you are waiting… What if it’s terrible!? What then? What if the person doesn’t like it!? What then? Think about it… It’s 2015 REALLY 30-year-old virgin (something is wrong with this picture!) I’m just saying! (if you are religious.. ignore my comment)
3. We are living in a StoryBook.
- We do not discuss our true future intentions and if we do, the conversation is vague.
- We love the fantasy that exist. The shinning knight or the princess.
- We have sex but there is no intimacy (we are not making love).
- We are passionate, playful but never serious. Real world problems does not exist. We live in our bubble of bliss. (This is for my teens and people in their early twenties)!
- We are in love with the story, the passion, but not in love with the reality (the true person).
My Viewpoint: People living in StoryBrook, WAKE UP! This is a F.. partner nothing else. You maybe friend, but really this will only end in disaster, when reality hits! Enjoy it while it last!
4. I love my arm candy!
- I love his SEX APPEAL, youthfulness and swag he compliments my image.
- When she walks in a room, I feel like I am on top of the world.
- He helps my reputation at work.
- Don’t talk, just stand there and look pretty.
My Suggestion: We all love Eye Candy, but Eye Candy can drift in the wind, if we are not careful. We can also fall in love with him/her (Samantha from Sex in the City) but this is a needle in the haystack. Just know, EYE Candy is Eye is Candy it taste good for awhile but the sweetness will start to evaporate in your mouth.
So you may still say, “I am in this situation so, now what do I do!?”
Open your eyes! Stop thinking with your pistol and start loving with your heart.
Understand the person as a whole without the sex.
Explore their interest and thoughts beyond the glitz and glam of the relationship.
Educate yourself on their history (family dynamics, cultural traits, understanding past relationships).
Learn who you are with, because passion/ desire come and go! It may even fade a bit with kids. Communication, common interest, core values will stay and hold the relationship together.
Trust in your gut and you will know if he/she is the right person for you in your quest love.