When I was a teenage, my parents told me to” be with someone who loves you more than you do them” Hmmm…
How can someone love you more than you love them and not feel like you are with a stalker? (just a thought)
During my dating years, I kept certain questions in the back of my mind. “Am I with someone who loves me more?” “What does this mean?” “What was my parents trying to tell me?”
I didn’t think too much about it, until I was in a relationship with my previous boyfriend. It was a game! Who loves who more?
Information that we give ourselves when we are dating or in a relationship:
- If I tell her that I love her first, then she will think I am weak.
- He is annoying, why is he so much into me ? I think he is a stalker or maybe just a looser.
- I need to play “hard to get” – I don’t want him to think that I am desperate.
- I am only going to call her once.
- Don’t call unless he calls!
- Am I texting too much?
- Am I craving the intimacy (I am addicted to sex) Maybe, I am into her a bit too much. I am not going to call her this week.
- Is this a game of cat and mouse, between the hunter and the hunted! Who am I? The hunter or the hunted?
- If I come off to strong, he may run away.
- I like her a lot, but she may think I am too into her, so let me pull back.
These are thoughts that can cripple the mind from experiencing the process of being with someone.
Dating or even being in a relationship and thinking that it is a game will cause you to play the game and lose.
LOVE is defined as “the unselfish, loyal and benevolent (not profiting from) concern for the good of another” Hmmmm….
OK, when I look at this definition, I can now understand what my parents were trying to tell me. Date someone who loves you more, this means that they are unselfish, loyal and not in the relationship for their own well-being. The person is concerned about me! (remember this goes both ways)
Examples of someone who loves you more:
- Walks me to my door
- Has the courtesy of calling me back or texting me
- Communicates about their thought and feelings
- Has time management (not standing me up!) Arriving on time.
- Trustworthy – if you say you are going to do something, you do it.
- Generally interested in me.
Use the concept of LOVE in your daily life by being unselfish, loyal and having concern for the good of another person. When you use love then love will find you and you will be aware of the person that loves you.
What is the happy balance of the love web?
We cannot control the actions of another person, we are only able to control the actions of ourselves. Therefore, show love, compassion and feelings. Maybe, your love will shine through, but just remember that if the person does not love you back, you need to move ON.. F… Them.. Be with someone who loves you more! I broke up with my X and made room in my heart for someone who loved me more.
Is dating an actual game?
Who is keeping score?
Advice for Ladies: We should both win! Howeverrrrr, Play the game with the intentions of letting him win “let him loooove you more.” (smile) or let him have the idea that you love him more (laughing)