I was thinking today about the word “hottie” and what it means to me. How, I use it and when I use it. Hottie is word that I use when I see someone who is attractive. Yes, I am in a committed relationship, and Yes, I find others to be attractive.
Why not talk about what our eyes find attractive? Why do people act like their eyes are closed shut in regards to seeing attractive people. We should be able to look, but don’t touch!
You may be asking yourself the question, Why would you talk about this?, Are you unhappy? or you may be thinking, “I would never look at another person?”
Let’s go deeper!!
Both women and men tend to fantasize or look at people that they feel are sexy, cute and or attractive. It is human nature. Now, the trick is that you are not supposed to gawk. A look or a glance is absolutely fine. Having a conversation about attractive people is very healthy for your relationship, this show transparency and the willingness to be open. You and your partner should be open to have this conversion of what’s Hot or Not! It should not be something that you feel guilty about.
When you type in the word HOT in google: Guess what a images comes up? No, not a picture of a kid touching a stove or someone eating extreme hot peppers, but pictures of half-naked girls. Hmmm, why is that?
Kids Definition of Hot is “Don’t Burn Yourself”
- having a high degree of heat or a high temperature.
- (of food) containing or consisting of pungent spices or peppers that produce a burning sensation when tasted.
- passionately enthusiastic, eager, or excited.
- involving much activity, debate, or intense feeling.
- knowledgeable or skillful.
- difficult to deal with.
The funny thing is that the dictionary describes hot as all the above, but images of hot on the net is a “HOT CHICK”.
Ok, my husband would say she is HOT (laughing)!
Would your partner actually tell you that she is hot! Hmmm…
What is Normal
Don’t be surprise by the your man/woman and their reaction when seeing someone HOT. Most men and women tend to turn their heads, change conversations or have a tendency to feel uncomfortable.
STOP Slapping your partner’s hand when they see someone hot! IT is Normal!! However, Gawking it is a different issue. It is just PLAN RUDE. It is natural for them to look. Most women and men feel uncomfortable even with a little glance because of the assume reaction their partner. BEHAVE (smile)!
I wonder why do people shut down the discussion of what is hot or not. Are they avoiding this topic because of confidence issues in the relationship?
- Are Insecurities in a relationship stunting the communication around this topic?
- Are you worried about the other persons feelings?
- Is this a taboo topic with your guy or girl because of jealousy?
- Are you avoiding this type of discussion because of a fear. Wondering “Is that person more beautiful than I am?” hmmm STOP TAKING IT PERSONAL… It is not always about you! It could just, I think that person is HOT!
How can this topic of conversation be cool in a healthy relationship?
Well we can actually spin this to be very healthy conversation in a relationship. You may say “Not in Mine!” I am uncomfortable with talking about other people. Hmmm… I am curious. Why? What are you afraid of? What bothers you about this topic? What assumptions do you have about your partner?
Well, I am NOT AFRAID! It is healthy to express yourself. Sometimes it could spice up the relationship. The taboo thoughts of the unknown.
Now, I have read some articles that suggest that when people are attracted so just say that person is hot, they are one foot out of the door looking for something better. They also say that the person is unsatisfied at home. The person has wondering eyes and may slip up when the opportunity arise or they are into porn. Hmmm… All of this things could be true but, how true is it really. Many times it is an act of just looking but not touching. Why not look at it as
There is actually no right or wrong actions when it pertains to this subject. There is only what you feel and you /your partners comfort level.
Having feeling of empowerment of your thoughts and feelings are awesome. Expressing yourself is liberating! Try it!
Everything you like, you do not have to have! This is just sharing thoughts!!! A relationship should be built on trust and honesty.
Complimenting others is healthy for the soul. This notion of people judging you on your thoughts is ridiculous… It is not the thoughts, it is the action!
Picture Info: photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/frenchie1108/8848062/”>Melissa Segal</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>