I will be married for 17 years in a month and I am asked 1 question… How do you keep the romance going?
1) Get a babysitter (sittercity.com). You need to go on dates with your mate at least 2x a month (if your income allows it, then increase to once a week). If you do not have kids, you have NO EXCUSE, you should go on a date at least once a week!
2) Before leaving, dress like this is your first date. Why not? It is a date! If you really want to be sexy, ladies wear no panties or wear sexy lingerie. (laughing)
3) If you have kids, try to put them to bed early, give them an early dinner at least a couple of nights in the week (between 7.00 and 8:00) so you still have enough time for each other, before you passout. Turn off the TV unless it is something sexy or music videos that will put you in the mood.
4) It is OK to fantasize or role-play. Don’t be embarrassed. It is not taboo to do this! It is between you and him!
Now let’s discuss how to keep your relationship spicy, but remember you have to change somethings first:
Your Woman is Thinking,
I LOVE YOU, BUT!
- You are hairy – wax, shave/cut down hair near your private areas. No woman wants, unwanted hair near their mouth (laughing) YES, I said it!!!!!
- Be more romantic: a night out dancing, a nice dinner in/out, organize a babysitter, hire someone to clean the house, buy me a nice dress or outfit, get tickets to see my favorite band , just remind me how much you love me. Don’t OVERDO IT, because she is going to think something is wrong!
- You have way to much underarm hair… This is gross if it is too long! Oh, don’t forget your back hair! Yes, I want a “smooth operator”!!!!
- You need to smell like you want me to want you!
- You dress like Shit! Ask your woman to help you to look your best!
- You have pre-ejaculation.
- You are not satisfying me (romantic, oral pleasure, touching and spooning).
- Your fingernails or toenails are too long.
- You are too rough or you are not rough enough.
Men: Ask yourself, how can I get her to want me again? COMMUNICATE YOUR DESIRES!
- Ask her, what can you do different to help her to want you more often? (be sincere)
- Telling her that you have her back and you support her helps with your communication. You should meet her needs. This can mean a world of difference to your mate in the bedroom or outside of the bedroom.
In case your man does not like to read, print and then read this to him (smile).
Your Man is Thinking,
I LOVE YOU, BUT!
- You are not there for me… (I want you, but you have excuses)
- You are always tired!
- You are not adventurous in the bed or even outside of the bed!
- You only want to have sex to procreate.
- Now that we have kids, what happened to our sex life?
- You are not excited about us!
- What happened to “oral sex”?
- What happened to “the back to door”?
- You are frustrated, all the time…
- You need to be more spontaneous, empathetic, appreciative and less argumentative.
- You look like Shit!
- You have lost your self confidence!
- When was the last time you wanted to…?
Women: Ask yourself, what can I do to help him to want me again?
SEX!!!! and INTIMACY!!!!
Now that simple changes have been made, let’s try to increase your sex life and intimacy.
- Try a new position
- Have a romantic dinner
- Make dinner together (feed each other). Clothes are optional (smile)
- Watch an erotic movie together, Not XXX … EROTIC
- Go on a “stay cation”, stay in a hotel for a weekend or night (you can do this in your town)
- If you are daring then, go into an erotic store, buy a TOY or two (smile) going online is also an option
- Go into a lingerie store (try on some fun outfits and buy one). If you are too scared, buy it online 3wishes.com
- Go to a different restaurant than your usual spot
- Go to a bar, pub, club (where no one knows you) kiss and make out! Act like lovers rather than a long-term couple
- Make love in different places of the house
- Take an exotic vacation (couples only)
- Stay out late (go dancing)
- Have a morning babysitter so, you can sleep in! Have a young person take the kids to the park or the store. (older workers, place judgement on you but, the youth applaud you!)
Enjoy Your New Adventure! Marriage is forever and forever is a long time!!! Don’t expect to continue to do the same thing forever, people tend to get bored and look for other outlets. Express yourself. Change a little to increase satisfaction in the relationship. Change your habits if it is not working for the good of the relationship. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. All relationships are not created equal, so do not compare yourself to someone else. Write your own contract and feel comfortable with it.
The norm is not the norm anymore!!!!